Special Message to all the broads:

If we were dildo's, we'd want to be yours. Unless your fat. Then that's just disgusting. Furthermore, we're sickened that YOU brought it up. Pervert.

THiS Page engineered buy THE webnancy himself...LOOSEcANNOn.  Bitch here

Heading??! What fucking heading???!!!??!

 

ADMIT NOTHING, DENY EVERYTHING, MAKE COUNTER ACCUSATIONS 

Hiring shit is in staff info dumbass

WWND Industries Latest News
July 22nd 2003 - spit is all you need for great anal
Today startling news has been discovered, and because of it, a former employee has been rehired. El Bastardo, also known to nd labs subjects as 'Baron Bastardo', recently (ok awhile ago but we forgot) attended a Nile show with his friend for his birthday. (ok, so it really was AWHILE AGO, it was in march!). However, the ND has learned that following the performance that bastard had the opportunity to pal around with not one, but TWO members of nile, including their ultra-metal bassist and chief. It was upon this date that El Bastardo realized to his surprise and shock, that not only did he think that chief's hair smelled nice and make him want to curl up with teddy bears cocoa and nice warm ed gein movie, but he was in fact TALLER than both members of nile! This information is vital to the founders at the ND, as that means not only is El Bastardo now officially taller than Nile (and back on the payroll for it), but the lOOSE, taller still than that bastard,  is officially now MUCH taller than nile! Viva la presidente! On a side note, the founder was consoled on being shorter than nile. 

 

 

July 3 2003 -  buttsex is part of our high school demographic (huh?)- alright couple things to say, ok first,  new hires, 

 
Petty File 
Juicy S. Long
G. Golly
MAGIC
 
Secondly, paco likes boys, ok then, yes...  ok The Nick would like to announce that the founder is in development of a "shock and awe marketing campaign" utilizing TheNickayeen and WWND girls, this will involve what the TheNickayeen motto is '[shock tactics] ", nudity, explosives, monkeys throwing feces, midgets in hard hats screwing regular size chicks, and buttsex.
that is all

 

June, no wait July 2nd 2003-raynham: doom-satelite: Wail upon a fetus in the name of communist ideals
Today the nd would like to announce that Dr. Viv Secton of nd labs fame has been revealed as the lOOSE's personal sexratary. If none of you noticed i had a "secret" sexratary, the hell with you. 
In other news, today the nd instituted a policy where its founding members, being the only one's who are not expendable to the nd cause and way of life, will as a 'security' measure now be protecting internal documents by way of signing someone else's names whenever they have to sign for something. For this new policy the lOOSE will begin signing everything "Wilt Chamberlain" and the nick will begin signing everything "downtown bobby brown". Thank you.

 

June 27th, 2003-raynham: doom-satellite: New plans
Today, The lOOSE announces plans to open a line of stores, all in select downtown localities that are largely suburban with mostly local businesses in the area. These new stores will be on the forefront of theND's new global strategy. The stores will all try to achieve an 'at-home' feel, and in fact as much as possible be located in buildings that were formerly houses. The stores will be called "GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!" and sell stationary exclusively. Also, today theND announce's plans to improve employee care and benefits by instituting a mini-skirt and no underwear day for all female employee's. On these days, as an added benefit, the lOOSE assured everyone that the elevators will be 'down for repairs'. To help the more alternative in sexual mindset (the nick: huh?) OR female employee's, a mandatory measurement of penis size for male employee's will take place in order to recieve health benefits. The data will be placed in a database accessible to all employee's, and a weekly poster will be put up with measurements of a handful of select employee's each week in 'Getting to know each other' area. Also, the founders penis size will be kept a secret, the lOOSEcANNON entry will be password protected, and everyone with a bigger dick than me is fired. Also, in the instance of Sgt. Rebel, his ego will be factored into his penis size. Thank you.

 

June 22nd, 2003 - Alright you stinky bastards, now that Sergeant Rebel has access you are all going to fall victim to correct spelling and proper grammar.... you sad sad sad individuals. Effective immediately I am making all of you my minions, with the exception of the ND staff members whom I feel do not deserve the torture I am going to expose you too. Alright, time for news. Sgt. Rebel tells the military he is done with their bullshit and will soon be a civilian. With that being said Sgt. Rebel will maintain his title of Sgt. Rebel until he feels the need to change it to something more fitting like... Mr. Rebel or The Honorable Rebel, maybe even Sgt. Rebel (Retired). That is to be decided on a later date.

June 19th, 2003- THE RESULTS ARE UNANIMOUS! THE NICK LIKES PINK! 

the nick
Magic Number18
JobSporting Great
PersonalitySunshine And Blue Skies
TemperamentWhat You Lookin' At?
SexualIf I Have To
Likely To WinTime Off For Good Behaviour
Me - In A WordGenius
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack

loosecannon
Magic Number13
JobConservationist
PersonalityThe Glass Is Half-Empty
TemperamentIf I Lose It - Run
SexualIf I Have To
Likely To WinThe World Cup
Me - In A WordBelligerent
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack

And lOOSE is BELLIGERANT! BELLIGERANT???! ME????????? More news as soon as the top secret underground bunker is finished being filled with aquanet and whores! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!-out.
 
 
 
June 15.2003 - ha take that agent eze!!!! im doing an update - yes today The Nick is going to update the staff section to include a new hire of TheNickayeen, and he is going to post a conversation between the new hire and agent eze, so here is the post.
 
June 13 2003 - yup - agent eze is off suspension, his mission was victorious and in the nd fashion, it was a one hour photo job and it took 10 days, very ND like. and yes he does get a promotion, he gets a new job, he will replace pen-day-ho position of head of communist relations, also, and also im going to fire some people now,
 
Ses Carney
Pen- Day- Ho
 
ok done 
 
June 3 2003- yea - ok the Nick finally did an update for the Arizona/ Vegas meeting click here to see.
 
June 2 2003 - blah - today agent eze was put on suspension till further notice for taking unauthorized pictures of the founder while the founder was at work (no they weren't nude but the founder cannot have unauthorized pictures taken of him for security purposes). well being the fair man that The Nick is, The Nick has given him a mission, and this mission will determine the fate of agents eze's career at the nd.
In other news, since it has become fashionable to hate the french (no we will not put a capital F in france) and Canadians, The Nick has decided that we will no longer have the the french and canadians as our main enemies (i mean we still hate the french and Canadians, i mean we hated them before it was cool to hate them, especially the french, when everyone was dieing to soak up some french culture, we were plotting there deaths and despising  their stupid culture.) so the nd after a long search has found some new countries to be its enemies. so in order here are the countries we hate.
 
Republic of Kiribati
Most Serene Republic of San Marino
Liechtenstein
 
ok there will be more to come, so lets start the propaganda war against those people
 
ok,that is all
 
May 23 2003 - update to get agent eze to get off my back about doing an update - well im finally doing an update to get agent eze to get off my ass, granted his numbing agent make it easier to deal with but it still, here's your stinken update. ok we have new members to thenickayeen, damn it, and the nick got a new cell phone. that's about it. 
 
May 13 2003, a special announcement - well the founder is back from the meeting in Vegas/ Arizona. a full update and pics of what happened from the meeting will be posted soon. so the meeting went well, ky lost a lot of money at the blackjack tables, sgt. rebel and ky picked up hookers (classy ones, from Texas, .... hey its Vegas) all while the nick was gathering free porn and promoting the site on the strip. now though, when the other half of the meeting happen in Arizona , the greatest honor was bestowed upon the founder during this time ,now i know what your thinking , what honor could be greater than being the founder of WWND Industries, well there is, and let me say it is so great that the greatness cannot be described in words, the founder has been speechless and happy since this great honor has been bestowed upon him, ok here it is, while a meeting was going on in the Christie's Cabaret (very classy strip club) in Tempe, AZ, its was After a lap dance from this very special fucking gorgeous stripper which her stage name is Kerri but i will call her Princess (cause i know her real name, and if you change the spelling slightly of her name is like that of one very popular princess.), ok back to the honor, Princess after the lap dance gave the founder back his money. now that is a great honor, nothing can come close to that. its amazing , even though the founder gave the money back to her, it doesn't matter that he didnt keep it, it is the fact she gave it back, because .... wow ... it was amazing, wow ......  wow damn that was a ...... holy shit, the is nothing better than that, everyone the founder has told has been baffled and the jealous of the founder for having that happen to him.  right then,  so the founder wanted to marry this princess right then and there.  the greatness of that honor or her for that matter cant be measured in words, the founder is still reveling in the aftermath of what happened ( the founder even told his mother about her). now all loyal nd members anywhere close to the Christies Cabaret in Tempe AZ must go down there and support Kerri by getting lap dances from her, and if my memory fail me on that stage name, you must get the stripper that looks like a young Sara Jessica Parker. she is amazing. and princess is now a member of the WWND, i hired her, her title will be goddess cause of the honor she bestowed upon me. and if you have anything to say or ask, just email the founder, go to the contact thing on the right and email him. 
 
oh and agent eze - if you ever send me to a sight like that shit with the your an idiot thing ill FIRE you, you fucked up my browser with that shit. fucker. your dead. that it, astroglide your fired again for agents eze's mistake. the only reason you still working here is because of the line you said when i told the honor story to you, the quote was, "nick that's why you a god." cause that quote is true, hey it comes from the unbiased leader of the TheNickayeen. 
 
May 4, 2003 - piss ants - today the nick, and ky are out to got to get a  ......... huh? what the fuck did i say, never mind. ok the nick and ky are going to Vegas to meet with Sgt Rebel for an important hot arsometry staff meeting in sin city or something like that. um yea hot anal, umm..... ok im going to go get the clap now, from butt sex with hookers in vegas. 
ok here is an update from sgt rebel.
Alright fuckers, this is the first time Sgt. Rebel is going to be doing a live update direct from ND HQ. NDUK is meeting up with the HQ in Vegas for a kick ass time, sucks that you fuckers are not going to be there. HA HA HA HA, dumbasses.  So, I leave you with this... next time you get drunk, take a fat girl home, get the clap, and look at the massive astronomical anomaly she calls an ass remember this, 8 inches of ass and 4 inches of dick just equals friction burn, nothing more and nothing less. 
April 21 2003- yes i like to wear panties - ok today The Nick has some more hirings, yes we are still hiring more, we have 2 more members of TheNickayeen, Astroglide and Petty File, both hired by Agent Eze. Also The Nick finally canned his sexatary, for reasons of not putting out and being difficult, But he has hired a new sexatary, coitus sinuous mistress, to take over, and yes she puts out, ohhh yea, and in leather straps. click here in the future for excusive interview.
 
April 10 2003 - name change, new hire and hot Arsometry - ok couple of things to announce today first, the nick changed the name of the nicks psychotic minion squad to TheNickayeen (meaning hail The Nick), and The Nick have hired someone for this division, his name is Agent Eze. he will head up this division and he will be in charge of recruiting for this division but, The Nick, can step in any time, like usual. Yes TheNickayeen is the nicks personal promotional death squad. muhuhahahaha.
 
april 7 2003 - yup, buttsex for free!!!!!!- alright the nick did dome updates to vehicles page and opened a new divisions page. also the boot is still a 9.5 on hot or not. yes the boot is sexy.
 
april 2 2003 - oh yea - go to nd labs for a new update fuckers.
 
April 1 2003,- i think its April - ok people , the founder is bored out of his mind, so he has devised some plans to solve some boredom, number one to lead up the newest hot or not project (soon ill make a post explaining) and the singles project, which involves the founder signing up to online personals and entering different profiles, if you care to get a taste, follow the hot or not link and  read the meet me thingy, ill post my reasons on the new hot or not update when i do it. also as of tonight the pick on hot or not is a 9.5, further proving that the cat boot is dead sexy.
 
march 22 -2003 1 am - hahaha - update today the nick checked his score on hot or not and he had been rated a 9.3, so we can conclude that people find that caterpillar boot dead sexy, sexy enough to out way the founder, that is all 
 
march 21 2003 - ha ha - today the nick has lit a spark in the ass of the hot or not campaign by willingly subjecting himself to the mock and ridicule of the awaiting public. the founder have taken a picture that he thinks will show his true ::cough:: sexiness ............ ::ha:: ........  and that will surely earn him some votes that are 3 or below.  so today the nick calls upon all loyal nd fans to go to hot or not and rate the founder a 1 for his looks but a 10 for his boot (yes a 10 for my caterpillar boot!!!!!) (yes i want you to score me twice, do it for the staving children and the ND) the address http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=NLNYRMR&key=YHJ oh yes if you want a preview of the picture of the founder go to the recently updated founder announcements . 
 
march something - message from the founder - i have been on hiatus for awhile and now i know where i am, so yup.... 
 
Feb 27 2003-
WE'LL GET YOU ONE DAY YOU BASTARD!

-the bastard salesman-
 
 
 
 
 
For archives click here ..........................................................................
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
WWND Industries Futher Down (AKA Axed people area)
(we dont just fire them, we strip them naked, superglue raw meat to the body, and throw them out back and sick a pack of rabbid wolves on them)

Well, to fire a co founder you need  to have 2 main things. first, a leader with a god complex and no grip on reality and secondly a leader who need to fire a lot of people cause he hasnt done it in a while and thirdly................ the power of WWND Industries.
 
June 30th Update:
 
Today the WWND began hiring again (hell who we going to fire if we have 2 staff members?) with the hiring of El Bastardo, The bastard who possesses much bastardness and also the root of most evil (the rest is genetic). "That BASTARD!", as he is also known will add much needed sex appeal to the group, as well as an overall aura of bastardness that will be most displeasing to the victims of hostile takeovers by the ND....