Special Message to the women of pornography:

THANKYOU!!!

THiS Page engineered buy THE webnancy himself...LOOSEcANNOn.  Bitch here

Doom? With extra sauce please...

 

ADMIT NOTHING, DENY EVERYTHING, MAKE COUNTER ACCUSATIONS 

 

THE LOOSEcANNON Manifesto:

I am officially at this point under orders to have an ego. as part of this new duty I, your infinite superior, have the following dictum due to my new position of power:

  1. Around the office the nick is to be referred to affectionately as "stumpy".

  2. If El Bastardo doesnt get the anti-pants movement going complete with flyers by fall he's fired.

  3. A new project to create WWND armbands will be commenced.

  4. Soon the WWNDGIRL project will swing into action. LOOSEcANNON, your would-be lover (HA! like i'm that gay), will personally defy all laws of physics to make this happen.

  5. Yes, I will personally be DEFYING all laws of physics.

  6. Stop staring. Its impolite and gets you killed faster.

  7. A new taskmaster posistion will be opening. Until someone suitable is hired i will cover the position (ha! like i dont have 30 jobs already..) [I DONT WANT 30 POSISTIONS! well maybe not all at once...] The task of this taskmaster to unite a band of roving idiots to be WWND Industries official ex-communicated squad. They will be given innovative tasks to perform on the behalf of INDUSTRY! SCIENCE AND TEcHNOLOGY! and record their exploits in gripping detail in the form of logs, pictures and video tape. Voluteers for the ex-communicated squad may email me and your name will be logged. Your first task: Demoralize crustaceans.

  8. Damned if i know what 8 is. I thought you knew?....

  9. From this point on 30% of all company profits will be donated to the buy the founder and F-350 charity fund. This fund is publicly known as the "Make stumpy feel bigger fund" under the grand slogan of "saving a un-endowed man from certain midget porn!" 

  10. from this point on, and i MEAN THIS POINT > .  <
    standard parentheses by all WWND staff are herby replaced by "9" and "0". FOr the less intelligent staff members, when typing dont press shift!

  11. Lamentably, due to the total inability of ANYONE to navigate the simple task of DOING LESS and not pushing the shift key when typing parentheses I have modified rule 10 to use brackets instead. []<<<brackets. Below the plus [+] and minus [-] keys nimrods! and still dont press shift! else we'll have {} running around! 

FUCK INSURANCE COMPANIES. EVERY...CHANCE..YOU...GET.

 

and after that diabolical opening I must state the announced:

 

The ex-communicated squad has its first member!!
WOOHOO! Capt. Adventure, the pointy one-armed deviant of misanthropic sex games and backround deviance was hired as ex-communicated DEATH SQUAD LEADER. His pay is nothing and he doesnt get an office. Welcome to the team! his first job is of course the above-mentioned DEMORALIZE CRUSTEACENS.
DAMMIT! THEY MUST BE STOPPED!!!!

Also, I would like to note I've changed my official title, as I am no longer only in charge of web goodness....
er...goodness. right. TERM USED LOOSELY.

 

I, yes, I [thats lOOSEcANNON to YOU, wormy. ] today am back to report that the recent attempt on my life was not a total failure. while i, as usual, survived completely unscathed the vicious assassination attempt made on me by yet another idiotic dodge driver [wait! everyone in dodge's are idiots. never mind.], it was not just another spiritual triumph for the ND over the failure that is the dodge motor company. No, the mighty have fallen from this brash, desperate attempt. That is right. The almighty Hudson herself was lost, totaled in an unfair fight. Poor Hudson, the sweet bitch never had a chance.
No you, loyal WWND subject, may be wondering how a lowly chrysler product could possibly hurt the wonder that was the grandsport, it is the matter of the attack that makes this so sickly believable. While stopped , allowing a trackless trolley to load on more passengers while the way home from yet another late-running founders meeting, the attacker came behind at nearly 40 miles an hour and rammed the rear of the cofounders stunning vehicle, pushing it forward into the bus a car length and a half away before speeding off and attempting to evade capture briefly. When the attacker saw that lOOSEcANNON was out of the vehicle and unaffected by the accident finally gave in and stopped a hundred or so yards up the way. The ND as a whole mourns this loss of such a touted vehicle, at the hands of such dastardly, poorly driven and assembled trash. In particular, lOOSE cANNON himself had this to say,

"This latest futile attack on a WWND members life has brought to a point an oversight in our godlike accension to the top. Yes, we, the ND, have tolerated the infinitesimal thrashing of this degradation of american vehicles to go on for far too long. This has been logged on the list of things to do. Dodge will be crushed."

 

 

tHIS (yes meandering bullshit) is the sum of all its parts and your fault in general. Everyday is the same. Its always the same. but not today..no not today.
[
dons astronaut helmet] Today i go for the gusto....