Special message to the hippies of the world :

Wash.

THiS Page engineered buy THE webnancy himself...LOOSEcANNOn.  Bitch here

Nipples? WHERE????

 

ADMIT NOTHING, DENY EVERYTHING, MAKE COUNTER ACCUSATIONS 

 

 

WWND Industries News
Feb 19,2001
New study shows that Dolls in lauren house are plotting against one of the co-founder - Taunton MA - New study conducted by The Nick shows that the dolls in laurens house are plotting against tang, a WWND Industries co-founder, to kill him and use his body for there own evil plots. Negotiations with the ghost and the teddy bear are being conducted as we speak, future Negotiation with the poster and the cat are expected to start soon. More to Come .........

Feb 24, 2001
WE GOT 60 Pounds of explosives, FBI alerts the local police and state police about this matter.
Raynham Ma.- Irish hooligan gets 60 pounds of fireworks, then Irish hooligan and The Nick blow up lizards and attack a lake. Local authorities follow them around and are put on high alert. The irish hooligan is quoted as saying "Correction, KILL US BOTH"
so far they have evaded the Law but they are quoted say " We aint done till we light up the sky like Iraq during desert storm" more to come.
 
May 29,2001
Former employees name changed, co-founder fired.
Raynham ma - the woman formally know as lauren is now Bryants Broad, Tang fired
 
July 24th, 2001
Founder announcement, Ex-communicated squad leader chosen, puppies wenched
Raynham ma- Nobody likes you. to hell with this.....
 
July 24th, 2001
Founder announcement, Ex-communicated squad leader chosen, puppies wenched
Raynham ma- Alright fine. you can have wwnd email...
 
buncha sissies.
 
Click here to signup or login!
email the nick at thenick@wwndindustries.zzn.com
 
July 24th, 2001
lOOSECANNON hates his life, 2 hirings, Exclusive transcript of The nick straightening out WWND EUROPE
lOOSECANNON would like it to be officially known that he OFFICIALLY hates his life...oh god dammit i have to update this page again today! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKK! right. On with the news...
Today WWND Industries founder, god, and all around jackass, THE NICK stated that we still hadnt posted about the hiring of our Head Chef, DJ. yes DJ comes from a long line of cracker jacks, complete with housing, and NOS on a '94 Oldsmobile. Dances with bikers, or DJ, will have the chivalrous task of heading the Dept. Of "Good game", taming the task of head chef (with extra barbecue sauce, callahan), and head of underage staffing. Pants off to you DJ!
Also, in the last post lOOSECANNON hired but barely announced the procurement of Capt. Adventure! Leader of the american way! hired due to his innane banter, constant belligerence, and all around wacky sense of humor, Capt. Adventure will head the ex-communicated squad on their roving deeds. As conduct for his new position, the Capt. has full power to hire his squad of deviants. More power to you, you crippled, one-armed bastard...
Today the ND also faithfully announced the policy of forced hiring. We dont ask, if we want you, your ours. And dammit, unless we fire you, your not getting out of it. This, is the WWND way. 
Well that and no one ever says yes...bastards. We'll get our revenge! [wait, isnt YOU'LL get your revenge?] No, I'm the president now. Everyone is officially below me and dammit, if i say we're going to get them then the B.A.R's and thompson's will come out and we'll get them, by god! Right after we finish these 1700 cases of fruit-rollups.. yea, thats right SMACK SMACK...you tremble you nancies....hahahhah
Oh yea...the news. Lastly today we have for you the exclusive, in depth and unedited transcript of a founder meeting between The nick and Sgt. Rebel. 
 
lOOSECANNON would like it to be noted that both himself and the founder have been up for over thirty hours, so if this makes less sense than usual, FUCK IT!
 
August 20th 2001
Hiring, lOOSEcANNON updates manifesto
Today lOOSEcANNON would like it to be known that due to the staffs total inability to navigate the simple task of not hitting a key, the rule on parentheses has been modified. Please see the manifesto. holy shit@! we just said please!
Also, today the ND announces the hiring of a fashion consultant! yes you heard right, that gothic goddess of funk herself, Chemical Halo will be joining us here at the ND! 

 

October 21th, 2001   [heheheh]
That stuff from the front page
Raynham ma- Today the WWND is proud to announce that a great new contest for the very first WWND GIRL has been launched. Details here.
 
The anti-pants movement propaganda division has started up; with El Bastardo as its head. Hopefully the propaganda shall be distributed and posted soon. We will keep you informed. 
Remember! PANTS ARE THE ENEMY.
 
The ex-communicated squad has received official word [At least it will once it reads this.] from loosecannon that it must start hiring members and commence the crustacean demoralization project. Other projects of mayhem need soon to commence.  
 
Oh yes the ND opened up a new office in Watertown, MA. Soon updates may be flowing more often once a comp makes it up there. This office will allow unmolested WWND chaos to reign! w00t!
 
[ya so i sorta lost motivation during this post. sue me.]
 
November 6 something -raynham office - The Nick find Bryants Broad guild of treason, pants saved from drowning - today The Nick founder bryants broad guilty of 16 counts of treason, hearing on sentencing will be held at a later date. hopefully soon
 
November 6 something -raynham office -again - the nick - The nick is in his office for once - today the nick was in his office doing work, amazingly no one was hurt and shit got done. He is the first Ceo to go into his office and do something other than the secretary. and let me tell you, he is looking for a secretary.
 
jan 13 2002 , loose cannon takes leave of absence - today the nick received a letter that loose cannon was thinking of taking a leave of absence. well the nick is going to let loose take that leave but it will be unpaid (...... ha ......). the nick will be taking all of loose's responsibilities and be single handedly running this company. but the nick will need to hire an assistant/secretary. so be on the lookout for who he will hire.
 
jan 18th 2002, the most important WWND post EVER:
Today the WWND received this important Communiqué. It was even in top secret SPANISH encoding, which the WWND SINGLE-HANDEDLY developed years before it was popular to not speak english. Today the WWND give you a brief and introspective look at the wonder that is the WWND coding savvy...

In Spanish:

Hola. Me gustaría tener un trabajo. Necesito mucho dinero. Tengo un pene grande y muy largo. Escribame, por favor. Gracías. Dios se lo pague! Ricardo, el spico

In English:

Hello. I would like to have a work. I need much money. I have a great and very long penis. Escribame, please. Gracías. God pays it! Ricardo, the spico

ASTOUNDING, ISNT IT????!?!??!
i know that is the only word that comes to my mind. with this new intel in hand from deep undercover corporate spy, ritchie the FIVE-OOOOOOOH king, we are certain to take over the world by  next tuesday. monday at the latest. really.

Jan 18th: rest of update news in a separate listing due to critical status of last posting.
Today the WWND has decieded to stop waiting for MIKEFUCK to respond to our hiring page [not that the effort to remove it from the hiring page will be expended] and has just fucking hired him. so boner lines to you all. thankyou. see the staff page for more info!
lOOSEcANNON would also like to announce that he too is in the market for a secretary. Only applicants with this kind of devotion are to be accepted. Thank you.

March 16th:

Today the ND would like to announce the hiring of the following people:

Tyransourisflex: head of emo-awreness in hardcore music, dept. of being a bitch
miss fancy pants: head of ridiculous body striping, dept of random flashing to creepy boys, dept. of being shady 
Tang: Dept. of founder cookie theft, jesus complex in a box
Hoover the ass-fraggle: autonomous whine-o-tron, grand high wizard of drama insertion, dept. of whining, emo space hussie

March 16th:

Today the ND would like to announce that its firing everyone in the US division with the exception of DJ!, because he's dj; and jill, because she's wearing the sexpants. We cant let her leave while wearing company property. Also, the ND is now officially hiring women. Oh yea, also nicks sexratary stays. I mean how can i fire the nick's bitch?With 2 on the staff we feel confident the man-quotient can be eliminated. Well that, and your all fucking useless. 
there is hope, however...we are opening a new division...
in 5
4
3
2
March 16th:

Today the ND has opened ND Labs! The premier laboratory and research vessel for the worlds top scientists. boner lines. [our next project]

We've hired EL Bastardo to ND Labs. See the site for that info. Also, Dr. Viv Secton has been hired. Woohoo for you two. ha, that fucking rhymed.

gay.

April 23 2002 - Ok her is a clip from the interview with Jizzabell, she was personally interviewed by The Nick, so we know it was an in depth interviewing process that gets into all the nooks and crannies to find out if she was right for The ND:

The Nick : Any fetishes?

Jizzabell: I have a sick obsession with peanut butter and I love to masturbate with fruits and vegetables, but maybe I should just stick with sodemy.

The Nick : Well here at WWND Industries, you can keep your fetishes ,  as long as you either practice them in the founders office or at least get them on video, or pictures will due.

amazing isnt it, want more?

 The Nick : What are you doing?

Jizzabell: I'm filling out an application
The Nick : Ok, but why?
Jizzabell: Don't you want to know if I meet the qualifications?
The Nick: Well for females, we hire for looks, but if you want to fill out the application, go for it, it will be awesome, but I'm hiring you cause of your looks, and the fact that I will be you boss so I can tell you to get naked and to get into weird sexual positions. How old are you? not that it should matter.

Jizzabell: old enough.

The Nick : your hired!!!!!!!! 

And here is part of the negotiation process after hiring.

The Nick: ok for filling out the application, you are going to get a good job title, like vice president of something
Jizzabell: ok, sounds good
The Nick: and we will hire Miss Fancy Pants back as your assistant or something
Jizzabell: ok, i guess.
The Nick: Because she didn't fill out an application, what can i say, Your just a bit more professional than she is,  also she was hired under the WWND Industries forced hiring provision, which is basically, we hire you whether you like it or not.

Well that's parts of the interview, amazing isn't it, we are the best.  

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
What? you think your going to get something interesting or new on every damn page if your jackass enough to keep scrolling down this far?