Special Message to Bonerrifc Salesmen : 

Stop fucking emailing me!

Mail order boner lines are a no go, damn you! DAMN YOU!!!

THiS Page engineered buy THE webnancy himself...LOOSEcANNOn.  Bitch here

So I said, "when i say 'FLATULENCE', duck!"

DICTIONARY.COM

 

ADMIT NOTHING, DENY EVERYTHING, MAKE COUNTER ACCUSATIONS 

 

 

  Today the wonder that is the WWND uncovered a dastardly plot to break our deep-cover top secret foreign language project. (Actually, we uncovered it like 4 days ago but who's counting) [tim] (oh well fine, tim is counting. tim who?) [uh...i dunno his last name.] (a likely story..)  [no really! it was in code!] (PAH!) Moving swiftly along, lOOSEcANNON, whilst still embroiled in deep-cover small child pillaging technique research on leave, managed to find the time to debase and discover this debauchery at its root. 

It seems that dictionary.com, while a damn fine site that has come to great use by certain members of the staff [not the founder jackass. look at his posts. do you think he bothers?] in its public reeducation proje-...i mean...uh....no, we aren't trying to influence your thoughts or ideas...noooo. 

wWhWy wNoDuIldS wGe dOo tDhat?

Moving stupidly along, we discovered that when dictionary.com attempted translation, it was partly right, but when translated back from spanish or french the results were well...

i have no idea what word to use; you just read for yourself you bastards:

Original statement:

I do indeed have THE venis fly trap! It is most excellent. it talks to me and holds me and cares, but oh the things it says about PATTON! also, the underage prostitutes are most encouraging. I hope to demolish them by 6-6:30 at the latest. they bring me a new round every other hour, usually six at a time! they wear cute rainbow brite underwear, and some of them even have pig tails! i threatened one of the little bashi-bazooks with a nine iron the other day. bastard tried to stick a candle up my ass! i responded with sticking it up hers of course. poor lass. she didnt like it when i lit all 12 of them... leave will be over soon! as soon as these weight loss devices wear off, i tell you i had no idea GNC would sell such noxious contaminants like oxy cottons. but they say they make you lose weight so fast! they were highly reccomended... by the man in the flower shop. who wouldnt stop shaking when he sold me the venus fly trap. who i later brought back and ate. a ha! brilliant!

Translated to spanish:

Hago de hecho que los venis vuelen el desvío! Es el más excelente. habla con mí y sostiene me y cuidados, pero el oh las cosas que dice sobre PATTON! también, las prostitutes del underage son que animan lo más. Espero demolerlos por 6-6:30 en más último que me traen un nuevo redondo cada otra hora, generalmente seises al mismo tiempo! desgastan la ropa interior linda del brite del arco iris, y alguna de ellas incluso tienen colas del cerdo! amenacé uno de los pequeños bashi-bazooks con un hierro nueve el otro bastardo del día intentado para pegar una vela encima de mi asno! respondí con pegarlo encima el suyo de la muchacha pobre del curso ella didnt como él cuando encendí los 12 de ellos... licencia encima pronto! tan pronto como éstos carguen los dispositivos de la pérdida desgasten apagado, yo le digan no tuviera ninguna idea GNC vendiera tales contaminantes nocivos como cottons. oxy pero él dice él hace que usted pierde el peso tan rápidamente! él era reccomended altamente... por el hombre en el departamento de la flor que parada del wouldnt que sacudare cuando él me vendió el desvío de la mosca del venus que traje más adelante detrás y comí una ha! brillante!

And translated back to english from spanish we see their fatal mistake!

I do in fact that venis flies the deflection! It is the most excellent speech with me and maintains and cares to me, but oh the things that say on PATTON! also, prostitutes of underage is that they animate the plus. I hope to demolish them by 6-6:30 in last than they bring new round a every other hour to me, generally seises at the same time! they wear away pretty the underclothes of brite of the rainbow, and some of them they even have tails of the pig! I threatened the one of small bashi-bazooks an iron nine other bastard of the tried day to stick a candle upon my ass! I responded with sticking raises it his of the poor girl of the course she didnt like him when I ignited the 12 of them... license raises soon! as soon as these load the devices of the loss wear away dull, I say to him did not have no idea GNC sold such injurious polluting agents as cottons. oxy but he says he does that you lose the weight so quickly! it was reccomended highly... by the man in the department of the flower that stopped of wouldnt that sacudare when it sold the deflection to me of the fly of Venus that I brought more ahead behind and I ate one has! brilliant!

While quite hilarious, this is totally incorrect. Dictionary.com has failed in this attempt to crack our ultra-secret code. And just in case this improves, soon we will be unleashing new GERMAN encoding! HAHAH Just wrap your translator around them consinents you fucks! MUWAHAHAHAHHA!

 

For fun, we then translated the addedum lOOSEcANNON provided:

In English:

Addendum: The founder must continue to be called stumpy. It is the only way to maintain tolal secrecy on his upcoming mission to mars. FUCK! i mean....no....the founder is not going extra-terrestrial...no.......shit! also, if sam is reading, SAM IS PATTON! thankyou. -loose cannon, deep cover operative in the venus trap little girl underwear division

In French:

Supplément: Le fondateur doit continuer à s'appeler courtaud. C'est la seule voie de mettre à jour le secret tolal sur sa mission prochaine à Mars. BAISE! je veux dire que... le fondateur de.no....the n'va pas extraterrestre... aucun.......shit! aussi, si le SAM lit, le SAM EST PATTON! merci - canon lâche, employé profond de couverture dans division de sous-vêtements de fille de piège de venus la petite

Translated back to english from french:

Supplement: The founder must continue to be called squat. It is the only way to update the secrecy tolal on its nearest mission at Mars. KISS! I want to say that... the founder de.no... the goes extraterrestrial... no...... shit! also, if SAM reads, SAM EAST PATTON! thank you - loose gun, deep employee of cover in division of underclothing of girl of trap of come the small one

And that, my subjects, i mean friends, is that. The cannon of mass looseness was so amused by the last line of dictionary.com's utter failure to thwart us, he added it as job title.  Please note that this does not mean that the WWND sanctions speaking french in any way.

 

 

 

 

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